I’ve been joking with Jordan for a while that I feel like Rapunzel trapped away in a tower. Because I just recently learned to drive, I am not very independent. I am also lazy. Lazy in my body and lazy with my mind. I don’t read nearly as often as I used to (although I buy books all the time). Long are the days I ran 4 to 6 miles, and long are the weeks that I run more often than I don’t.
My job is like the movie Groundhog Day, with no end in sight, just a single repeating merry-go-round of “trying to open a restaurant for somebody else.”
Jordan feels it too. We both feel numb, lost and crummy. We are 6 weeks away from our house search and 8 months into trying to get pregnant. Everything is holding its breath.
My aura proves this. The lady said I’m holding the world at arms length, waiting for something to happen. I’m very closed off, which is why it’s so close to my head. And Jordan is waiting for new beginnings so hard his is all red. So here we are. Still waiting. Like being on the tarmac before take-off, just waiting to that engine to kick in and for the journey to finally start…