Who is SHE? She’s a nightmare and a dream. What I think I’m supposed to be and what I actually can be. The dance of self-esteem and personal growth. Of shaming and hating myself. Of quieting down and apologizing.
I need to talk to her more than I do. She needs to face a lot of painful truths. She needs to grow up. To be kinder, softer. To stop the name calling and eye rolls. The knee jerk reactions. And I’m here to help her.
I get to read, and listen and ponder. I get to put two and two together. I see and learn so much more than she possible can, locked away with all my preconceived notions.
But she lives closer to the center. Closer to the inner raw, truthful, primal, hot part of myself. She doesn’t want to listen and it’s so exhausting day after day trying to calm her down.